Follow Thru.....
It seems easy, but it is not. Can you be easily manipulated when your little one asks you the same question 100+ times? Depends on your mood I'm sure. It doesn't matter the age of the child, they all do it. It could be my 4 year old asking me to get her a drink, or my 16 year old wanting to know when I can take him to a friends, they all are guilty of it.
I am guilty of ignoring the random chitter chatter of requests. That is the first problem. If I would answer the question the 1st time it was asked, they may not ask so many times. That would be a good day. But if the answer does not meet their approval they continue. If they are young they cry if they are older they persist. Both are annoying.
Now it comes to the "follow thru" I'm talking about. If you say you are going to do something.....you must do it. If you tell your child not to do something, you must follow thru. If you give an ultimatum, you must follow thru. I know it sounds silly but it really works. All my kids were acting up. They were arguing with me and abusing the situation. I had to evaluate the problem. What had I changed? I decided it was my fault. I can be wishy washy. I will say something then change my mind. I am sending mixed signals. The kids picked up on it and took advantage of me.
Parenting is always a challenge. I am dealing with teenagers and a baby.
I have gotten better at a lot of things, but find myself always needing encouragement and advise.
2 comments:
I read once that kids ask for something on an average of nine times before a parent gives in. I allow London to ask three times before the ax falls. When she askes the first time, she gets my answer. The second time, I give her the benefit of the doubt - maybe she didn't hear me, maybe she didn't understand my response - so I repeat myself and ask her if she understands. If she asks a third time, I tell her, "I gave you an answer. Do you remember the answer?" If she does remember it, I warn her that asking again will result in a time-out/loss of priviledge. She's only made it to the time-out stage maybe twice.
The only bad thing is, sometimes, I hold my ground to a fault or answer "no" so quickly without really thinking about what she's asked. I've had to say, "oh, wait. Mommy wasn't thinking" more than once! LOL!
Manipulation? Are you sure? :o) I think kids are born with a genius for that!
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